Bollywood: best cheese in town!

A couple of months ago, I did a Preview of Shah Rukh Khan‘s upcoming movie, RA.ONE. From the synopsis and all it seemed to be a rip off of TRON: LEGACY. But, I still give my movies a chance, and it could still be a decent watch despite the ‘inspirations’.

One thing that got me interested in the movie is that there was a song that was released entitled ‘Chamak Challo’. Coolest thing is, that the song was done by Akon. Yea… THAT Akon. It honestly was a pretty cool song. See below. Ignore the video.

It grows on you. I was impressed. At the movie I mean. The fact that they roped in Akon for, a cool fun promo song, was cool. I was enticed. I awaited more. We got that ‘more’ recently, in the form of the music video for Chamak Challo. (majority of songs in a Bollywood movie are accompanied by a song and dance routine that happens IN the movie, within the story… somehow)

Now when you hear this kind of a song, composed and performed by Akon, you expect something either wickedly awesome, or exploitively gratuitious. I was thinking it was going to be a lavish music video with high end sets and pure glam where our Bollywood actors like leading man Shahrukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor would get to interact and get their Bhangra on with North American hiphop sensation Akon. What we got, was this piece of shit.

What. The. Fuck?! My interest for this movie, lukewarm as it was, has gone completely to shit. First of all, I don’t wanna see SRK lip syncing to Akon’s english Hiphop lyrics. SRK shouldn’t rap… why can’t Bollywood understand that? It’s forgivable if it’s a line or two in the beginning of a song (as shit as that is as well) but not be rapping for half the song.

Then you have the dancing. It’s not even choreography… they’re acting out the words, however impossible that might seem. The main move is like a inbred version of ‘the lighbulb’, which is the only Bhangra move that non-South Asians seems to know. The rest are ‘moves’ that remind me of Cameron Diaz‘s ass shaking in her intro scene of CHARLIE’S ANGELS. It’s apparent that the song was choreographed by Carlton from FRESH PRINCE.

How unfortunate is it, that despite roping in North America music ‘star’ Akon, the makers weren’t able to capitalize on that branding by featuring the artist himself in a promotional music video for the film. A great song, ruined by the infamous cheese that is Bollywood. Now I’m open to the fact that there very well may be promo video featuring this song that’s not IN the storyline of the film as the release date approaches. But as first impressions go… the damage is done.

The ridicilously outlandish and over the top clips featured during the video of the song promo, almost make it seem like a film aimed at kids. Especially given the synopsis about it being a video game driven world. Which is fine. We should have more Bollywood films aimed at children. However, do they not understand the lyrics of the song proclaiming ‘give it to me girl’…is anything but kid-friendly? Idiots.

This relates to the over-all problem of Bollywood not being able to market their films properly. Something that could’ve made headlines through out the world (I’m exaggerating of course) with Akon sharing screen space with the ‘King of Bollywood’… gets cheapened with a non sensical video, that should make even the avid Bollywood film fan cringe.

Now obviously, I’m judging a song. It honestly means nothing. But the fact is, in Bollywood, these song promos are meant to hype up and market the film prior to release. But when a promo does the exact opposite, for reasons that are supremely moronic, it just hurts the entire process.

RA.ONE may end up being a decent movie. Chamak Challo’s inclusion in the film may even somehow make sence once we put it into context. However as it stands… it’s marketing has been severely hurt when a they don’t respect the style and tone of a composition or an artist, and just stick in bullshit that doesn’t make sense. A great Hip Hop song that also works as a English/Hindi fusion, gets reduced to, what seems like, a typical song and dance that’s featured as a party song in the story of the film, complete with background dancers in their South Asian get-up and the supporting cast getting involved as well. It’s just sad…

Related articles

• Wanna be my Chammak Challo? (backstreeetboy.wordpress.com)
• Shah Rukh Khan Eager To Showcase Chammak Challo (bollywoodcelebritygossips.wordpress.com)
• Chammak Challo Official Song : (ashrules24.wordpress.com)
• Ra.One’s ‘Chammak Challo’ teaser featuring Kareena Kapoor released (panasianbiz.com)