I usually haven’t participated in many Blogathons considering most involve having to watch a certain movie, and I’ve always got a backlog. However, when Rae of Cutting Edge Creativity offered to ‘tag’ me on this Blogathon, I jumped at the chance. Also, I’ve always loved Tag.
“It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years.
The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following:
In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things
1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff
2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free.
There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail.”
The Current Inmates:
Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
The Participants (so far):
11. Aziza’s Picks
13. i luv cinema
15. The Warning Sign
16. 3 Guys 1 Movie
*adjusts Power Tie and stands from Defendants Table*
So, without further ado, allow me to present my client, a Mr. Adam Sandler, whom I’ll be releasing today. First of all, I move for immediate bail, as I believe my client has more than served his time and to allow him to remain in Movie Jail for another minute is a crime in and of itself!
Moving onto the merits of the case, I believe that my client’s previous body of work, makes him eligible for a pardon right away. Precedence for this has been set through out these Proceedings. Val Kilmer, Al Pacino, Clint Eastwood, M. Night Shyamalan, Tom Cruise & Nic Cage have all been released due to the awesome-ness of their past work.
I admit, Mr. Sandler’s more recent work has been ridiculous and essentially lapses in his moral judgment (THAT’S MY BOY), a case of sexual identity crisis (JACK AND JILL), and to be fair, during the entire voice recording sessions of HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA, my client believed that he was the new brand ambassador for Count Chocula Cereal. So that one’s not really his fault. His time spent in Movie Jail thus far for the above-mentioned atrocities can be considered a time served.
Regarding his defense, I present the following Exhibits:
Mr. Sandler is a comic, plain and simple. His brand of comedy featuring a different approach to an underdog, spewing angry and frustrated vulgarities with animated expressions while having to overcome outrageous situations, is a contribution to the genre of comedy. Which has incidentally now become a sub-genre perfected by Mr. Sandler, variations of which are still being used to this day.
Despite Mr. Sandler’s contributions to comedy in his early days, another reason that warrants his release is his over all talent and skill as a serious actor. The above exhibits are all examples of his ability to tone himself down and bang out a subtle and restraint performance that go against the grain of his typical works, while still being enjoyable films in general.
To sum up, I’d like to use a quote from one of Mr. Sandler’s film, which I think mirrors how his, and others’ careers, have turned out.
“Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It’s the coolest!”
Considering they’ve just been in Movie Jail… peed their pants indeed.
*walks over to the Prosecution table*
And now I’d like to present the man I’ll be incarcerating today, who has murdered the underdog character archetype numerous times with his horribly horrid performances… Mr. Shia LeBeouf.
Unlike many other former inmates of the Movie Jail, Mr. Lebeouf’s bad acting and cannot be blamed on being typecast or being part of bad movies necessarily. If anything Mr. LeBeouf has had multiple opportunities in a variety of roles, with acclaimed filmmakers. And he’s consistently sucked in every one.
In almost every single role of his, Mr. LeBeouf inherently brings in these annoying personality traits, consisting of a nervous, fast talking, jittery yet wise ass demeanor that prevents the audience from ever relating to, or feeling anything for the character other than intense anger and irritation.
In all the above films, LeBeouf has portrayed a sort of underdog / everyman type of character, who is bright eyed, cocky but inexperienced, and has to, during the course of the movie, overcome the conflicts in the story, while still being a douchebag with no real growth of the character itself by the end. It’s not endearing. It’s not charming. It’s downright annoying.
The above Exhibits feature the exact same character type as the previous Exhibits, with the only difference being that Mr. LeBeouf was the sole focus of these films, without an experienced supporting cast. The end result is much of the same moronic performances.
Mr. LeBeouf has no charisma or any ability to invoke sympathy or empathy from the audience, as his characters are always reckless immature idiots, who must be saved from themselves.
I move that Mr. LeBeouf be immediately taken into custody and transferred to Movie Jail. I also recommend he be given accommodation with Mr. Bay, as I hear he is quite lonely.